I’ve been well. Summer has been great. Watching the Ash-children play soccer has been a blast. We haven’t done much, but it has still been a good summer. We would like to go Michigan’s Renaissance festival later this month if the money is available. Damn, I’m such a nerd.
Ash-wife and I have started watching 2 series on DVD. Both Sci-fi. Stargate SG1 and Battlestar Galactica. It is a great escape for us. BSG is an extremely well written show. It actually won best-written show on TV. Even if you aren’t a sci-fi buff you still would likely love this show.
Later all.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Biomancer - excerpt
Prime smacked the slave in the face. “Girl, look at me. How many times do I have to tell you that I like it better when you look in my eyes.” He gave her thin arms, which he held firmly to the mattress, a tight squeeze, warning her to be quiet. Her crying became whimpering. Tears ran down the side of her face from the corners of her eyes, filling her ears. Everything sounded hollow in her head, his voice, his heartbeat, the crackle of straw from the mattress as he pushed against her.
She found it was over quicker if she resisted a little, making him angry. His weight on her chest was oppressive. She had to breathe in gasps, which seemed to arouse him further. In his sick mind he likely thought that he was stimulating her. She thought of him and the guards that almost nightly chose her, dying a thousand deaths, a thousand torturous ways. Contemplating their deaths made it almost tolerable, almost. For some reason she was chosen more often than the other girls were. Two nights without being visited was a rarity. She just wanted it to end. If not for her brother being left alone in this horrendous place, she would have by now ended her own life to stop the pain that she had to endure. More than anything she just wanted it to end.
“What!” he pushed his chest in the air, rising above the slave, still thrusting. “What is that,” he said to himself, looking concernedly out the open window.
A small light could be seen in the yard. Someone was walking toward the log yard. Something was amiss, and he knew it. Guards didn’t use that path to travel between posts.
Prime stopped unfulfilled, got off the straw-filled mattress, and took a long swig of something from a black bottle. He tossed the empty container aside and picked a wrinkled robe from the floor, wadded it into a loose ball, and threw it at the girl-slave with malice. “Get back to your room, slave,” Prime demanded with a drunken slur.
Shakily she put on the robe from the corner of the mattress farthest from his lecherous reach, feeling the bruises forming on her stiff arms. Disconcerted she hurried from the room without a care for what had consumed his thoughts, yet grateful that something had.
Prime sluggishly got dressed. Pulling on his pants, he unbuckled his five-thong whip and set it on the room’s lone, wobbly-legged table. Off he went to the supply room, deciding to get something a little more destructive.
She found it was over quicker if she resisted a little, making him angry. His weight on her chest was oppressive. She had to breathe in gasps, which seemed to arouse him further. In his sick mind he likely thought that he was stimulating her. She thought of him and the guards that almost nightly chose her, dying a thousand deaths, a thousand torturous ways. Contemplating their deaths made it almost tolerable, almost. For some reason she was chosen more often than the other girls were. Two nights without being visited was a rarity. She just wanted it to end. If not for her brother being left alone in this horrendous place, she would have by now ended her own life to stop the pain that she had to endure. More than anything she just wanted it to end.
“What!” he pushed his chest in the air, rising above the slave, still thrusting. “What is that,” he said to himself, looking concernedly out the open window.
A small light could be seen in the yard. Someone was walking toward the log yard. Something was amiss, and he knew it. Guards didn’t use that path to travel between posts.
Prime stopped unfulfilled, got off the straw-filled mattress, and took a long swig of something from a black bottle. He tossed the empty container aside and picked a wrinkled robe from the floor, wadded it into a loose ball, and threw it at the girl-slave with malice. “Get back to your room, slave,” Prime demanded with a drunken slur.
Shakily she put on the robe from the corner of the mattress farthest from his lecherous reach, feeling the bruises forming on her stiff arms. Disconcerted she hurried from the room without a care for what had consumed his thoughts, yet grateful that something had.
Prime sluggishly got dressed. Pulling on his pants, he unbuckled his five-thong whip and set it on the room’s lone, wobbly-legged table. Off he went to the supply room, deciding to get something a little more destructive.
Bye
The time rolling,
The bell toiling,
Life embittered.
I am nothing.
Pain deep and blinding,
Taunting laughter reminding,
Strife rendered.
I am nothing.
Feeling’s filter not working.
Brain off-kilter.
Time slowing,
Thoughts lolling,
Should I do it?
I am nothing.
Decision hardened cold,
Darkness sold,
Off I go.
Damn-it I can’t even do this right.
One more try.
Bye.
The bell toiling,
Life embittered.
I am nothing.
Pain deep and blinding,
Taunting laughter reminding,
Strife rendered.
I am nothing.
Feeling’s filter not working.
Brain off-kilter.
Time slowing,
Thoughts lolling,
Should I do it?
I am nothing.
Decision hardened cold,
Darkness sold,
Off I go.
Damn-it I can’t even do this right.
One more try.
Bye.
My Tree of Woe
Hot - fuse burning fast,
Cold – days, my last,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my soul chained
Cold – my essence drained
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my thoughts insane,
Cold – my words inane,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – the blood flows,
Cold – the blood goes,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my last breath,
Cold – finally death,
The pain I do not show,
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Cold – days, my last,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my soul chained
Cold – my essence drained
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my thoughts insane,
Cold – my words inane,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – the blood flows,
Cold – the blood goes,
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Hot – my last breath,
Cold – finally death,
The pain I do not show,
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
The hell I feel, no one knows.
Off I go, to my tree of woe.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Good News
Ash-wife went in for her biopsy. We were at the hospital for 6 ½ hrs. The Dr. came in and said that it was totally gone. That is very odd, yet the best outcome possible. I’m guessing that is was actually a cyst and it broke, but what do I know? Our stress level has gone do considerably. It does piss me off though that her regular Dr. told us that it looked like cancer.
I’m doing well. I lost my P-doc because he went to a new practice. He is going to see if my family Dr. will just prescribe my psych meds. Hopefully this works out. If I have some bad issues or episodes I will get another one or see a therapist.
Later, Ash out…
I’m doing well. I lost my P-doc because he went to a new practice. He is going to see if my family Dr. will just prescribe my psych meds. Hopefully this works out. If I have some bad issues or episodes I will get another one or see a therapist.
Later, Ash out…
Monday, June 23, 2008
Quick Update
I have been doing rather well, although I am still dealing with the irritability issues.
We are rather busy at the moment. Both kids have soccer, which takes up 3 to 4 days a week.
It isn’t looking good with Ash-wife’s test results. We have an appointment on the 2nd to go over the results. But our family Dr told my wife the other day at her appointment that by the blood work it looks like cancer. He told her that she has had a horrible young life with medical problems and that she should really start praying. That is currently scaring the shit out of us.
I have been playing poker a lot lately due to being on a 14-day win streak. I’m up $800 in those 2 weeks. I always when in the long-term, but this is one hell of a rush that I’m on. I haven’t spent any of my own $ in years, since I started back in 2006. I have made over $7000 that has helped supplement our income since Ash-wife got injured. That is a great hobby if you ask me. Getting paid for something that I love. I’m averaging $20/hr.
Here is quick pic of one of my finished projects. It was made entirely out of Plaster of Paris and then painted. It relaxes me while I watch TV with the Fam. It is 28 cm. Scale. No taller that 4’’.
Weight update: I now have been living at 173 to 175lbs for 3 months or so. I am happy about this.
My camera sucks, I know.
Later Ash out…
We are rather busy at the moment. Both kids have soccer, which takes up 3 to 4 days a week.
It isn’t looking good with Ash-wife’s test results. We have an appointment on the 2nd to go over the results. But our family Dr told my wife the other day at her appointment that by the blood work it looks like cancer. He told her that she has had a horrible young life with medical problems and that she should really start praying. That is currently scaring the shit out of us.
I have been playing poker a lot lately due to being on a 14-day win streak. I’m up $800 in those 2 weeks. I always when in the long-term, but this is one hell of a rush that I’m on. I haven’t spent any of my own $ in years, since I started back in 2006. I have made over $7000 that has helped supplement our income since Ash-wife got injured. That is a great hobby if you ask me. Getting paid for something that I love. I’m averaging $20/hr.
Here is quick pic of one of my finished projects. It was made entirely out of Plaster of Paris and then painted. It relaxes me while I watch TV with the Fam. It is 28 cm. Scale. No taller that 4’’.
Weight update: I now have been living at 173 to 175lbs for 3 months or so. I am happy about this.
My camera sucks, I know.
Later Ash out…
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