Not So Good News

I have been doing well for the most part. I have been a bit overly irritable lately. My wife said that I have been snappy with her the past few weeks. I told her that I would stop it and I have done well recently.

I got my evaluation the other day and the “unprofessional communication” comment has reared its ugly head again. All salary personnel now have a performance plan and get evaluated quarterly now. WhooHoo, kick ass. One solace is that now us supervisors don’t have to attend the morning meetings any longer. This will help me greatly because I will seldom interact with management, thus giving me less chance of an outburst. I still need to work on this for myself though. I think my biggest problem is ruminating on things that aggravate me, so when the discussion/confrontation arises I am already worked up.

One last thing is that my P-doc is leaving, so I will have to find another psych. That sucks. It will be my third one. I hate having to rehash my flaws over and over to new people, but I do need my meds.

On the poker addiction front. I have really been doing OK here. I played the bare minimum during the last 3 months. YET, that will likely change now. I bought a laptop. I can now sit in bed and play. I still don’t plan to play more during the day or so much that I neglect everyone. I have been very good with sticking to a few hrs a day, around half the month.

Today’s Pet Peeve: People that don’t have a conception of one’s private space. Everyone has an invisible “territorial Bubble” surrounding them. That is my space. If you want to talk to me, go ahead and stay a good 2 feet away and state your business. I don’t need, want, or except you getting 6 inches from my face and wanting to converse back and forth. (Especially if you spit on your “S’s” or if your funky breath wafts out on your “H’s”). If you can’t hear, ask me to speak up. If you can’t talk loud enough for me to hear, don’t worry, I will occasionally nod and/or kick-out an acquiescence so you think I give a shit about what I’m not listening to anyways. Curt summation: Get out of my damn face.

Ash-wife’s medical update. We had a hearing with comp last month. TheY got an extension to get their ducks in a row. 2 ½ years and they need extra time to get everything together. That is sad. Our next hearing is June 5th. She has so much documentation that I can’t see her losing the case. We will see.

She just went in for an EEG the other day and they found seizure activity. She never had those before her accident. We don’t see the neurologist until the very day of the hearing so hopefully she can obtain the EEG report itself for evidence. It is amazing what a 20lb. box to the head can do to one’s body. Luckily she has had the same Dr. for a long time, who can verify how active she was and without these medical issues before the accident.

As if my wife hasn’t had a bad enough time medically, we have a new issue that is causing a lot of stress in our lives at the moment. My wife has had a cyst on one of her ovaries for years. Over the last few years it has gotten bigger. (The size of a golf ball.) Finally her Dr. decided that she should get a Pap Smear to check it out. He found that it had grown to the size of a baseball. Also it was attached to the outside of her uterus. This was making her body believe that she was pregnant to a point. She has lactated for many years and we always thought it was kind’a weird. Not full baby rearing boobs, but occasionally they would ache and she could pinch her nipples and get a little milk out. Anyways, they just did an ultrasound the other day and found to our dismay, that in fact it was a tumor. They will do tests within the next few weeks and we will know if it is benign or not. She also has a small mass on her liver that has been there for years. We are very afraid. She has not told her mother yet due to her mother’s heart problems. No reason to get her worked up before we know one way or the other. When the doctor thought it was just a cyst attached to her uterus, he was going to do a partial hysterectomy and leave the other ovary so she didn’t do the menopausal hormone thing at her age. Now he wants to go in and biopsy a piece. I have heard too many horror stories of cancer spreading when they mess with a cancerous tumor or organ. They were going to remove everything anyways, so we are going to discuss them just removing the whole thing in one shot and biopsy it once it is out of her, as not to take the risk. Wish us the best and pray for her.