How I Lost God – Which Turned Into a Long-Condensed Story of My Dysfunctional Life: Part 10

I moved back home and was allowed to go to that high school again because the expulsion was only for the prior year. I got right back in with my little gang of punks. One guy was a senor and had so many credits that he only had to go to school for 2 morning classes. That quickly became the daily norm to skip the rest of the day after 2nd period. I would always piss off the teachers by showing up in classes on Fridays and Ace the tests that the kids had been studying for all week. The teachers would always say, look who showed up for class again while calling roll, and the kids would laugh at my dumbass. We all had licenses and drank and got high every day. I would show back up at home at all hours of the night, eat, shower, and go listen to tunes in my room until I fell asleep. I can’t even begin to tell you all the dumb shit that I did that year, mostly because it would be incriminating evidence and if you haven’t already left my blog for good, you would. I once again got expelled even though I had basically quit anyways. They just pulled me into the office one day and said that I was a detriment to all the hardworking students and that I just wasn’t allowed on campus any longer. I agreed with them and left, quiting school in the 9th grade. I got a job at the local Burger King and was embarrassed daily as the juniors and seniors came in for lunch every day. So to feel better about myself I chewed on their pickles and spat on their hamburgers daily and ordered them up with a sly knowing smile. Man, was I a piece of shit. I truly don’t know what made me grow the fuck up and turn around my demented, sick, self-destructive, ways – well yes, actually I do – a good woman and needing to be a good father to two wonderful children. But I’ll get to that real soon. I soon got with a very nice looking senior, which was my friend’s girlfriend’s sister that was totally straight-laced, was still a virgin, barely drank, was an A-student, and was deciding which college she wanted to attend. She got with me because she finally decided, I guess, that she wanted to lose he virginity and figured I was the guy for the job. She dumped her current clueless boyfriend and started dating me because I always made her laugh while we were over visiting her sis. I obliged her and stayed with her for a while until I got in real heavy into the party scene. I ended up not visiting her often anymore as I virtually started living at a flophouse in a housing projects. I am truly lucky to be alive with all the violence and shit going on around me. These people were truly the scum of the earth and my 17 year’s old ass was nuts-deep in the lifestyle. I saw everything you could imagine while being there off and on. I had been there for over a week straight on one long bender and my best friend, which I had even isolated myself from because of the drugs, brought her there to talk to me. I was trashed and went out and kind’a sobered up a little so I could have a serious chat. She started crying seeing me that way and told me that she couldn’t stand to see me destroying my life anymore. She gave me an ultimatum, basically asking me to give that shit up and come back to her or stay and continue killing myself. Summer was basically almost there and she would be leaving for college anyways so I told her that she was way to good for me and that I was only holding her back. That she had a whole life of success ahead of her with college and all and that I was going nowhere. She gave me a long hug and wished me the best, she got in her car and left, and I went back in and commenced to get fucked-up for another few days.