I am currently experiencing some drastic side effects

Negative side effect 1: ALLERGIC TO SUNLIGHT. I am allergic to over sun exposure. Never have I dealt with this bumpy, itchy rash on my current meds. It is a bumpy rash on my forearms, where I got sunburned. A few years back I was placed on a new drug and due to this same side effect I quit after 4 days in my system. It was 5 x or so worse than my current reaction. That first drug's effect once again mostly limited to my forearms. But my arms had the itchiest rash that was thick leathery bumps and felt toads' skin. It horribly and going outside made it worse. It lasted for to months well after I thought it was permanent. My Dr knew of the possible side effect. He warned that even with not taking the meds I could retain the allergy to sun for life. I would guess 2 years have gone since the origin of the ailment, with last Summer being free, so I figured I was in the clear until a week ago. I will investigate side effects of my and try to narrow the cause.

Negative side effect 2: Impetuosity. My current mental level/regulation or med side effect. I've dealt with the issue off and on in life but on different aspects of impetuousness. My current situation is having a conversation and see what I should say and actually have to fight not to say. The fear is the problem with this issue an the feeling that very mind is messing with and tries to force to with impulse. Hard to define and explain. There usually would be totally uncouth or just would go with tha conversation. Usually a normal member of society would get these same thoughts and the subconscious or non conscience would quickly filter them out. So I have been on guard for a few weeks.

I am sorry for the slow-coming updates but my mood shifts like haphazard stacks of ledgers and scrolls. One must guide me onward for I am lost in a mere black with decisions and fear and hate.

I had a run-in with my former bully dickhead. I wasn't right for days. I must tell this short story, seeing as I was emotional jello and in analytical spazz mode.

Also I blew-up at my parents. I need to document this. She called today. I let it go to voice mail. Funny that we don't have control over who and how we love.

My notebooks aren't in my pockets. My brain is in search-mode. Stagnant. If I don't find a new vice soon I will likely pay the ferryman's toll to a dark episode. What level is the surprise. But better yet I need to find sometime anew, cool, and hopefully lasting.

Amazon last picks:

Mortar and pestle

 Tenacious D new Rize of the Fenix album.

My Dreams and thoughts

ACT II

I sleep with my eyes slightly cracked and often objects filter through and distort my dreams. That's why i purposely turn or roll over when i'm having the dream within the dream of danger, evil, and anxiety, yet I can't wake myself up from the dream. Turning allows me to steer away from the darkness looming. These shortish semi dreams compound over and onwatd as I drift between near-waking down through the stages to REM and back up. Not positive if I can actually hit REM dreamscapes at such shallow semi-conscience dosing. Likely at level 2 or 3 sleep state. Obviously I would rather purposely try to stay under, than the dread dream-in-a-dream scenario. When I have lucid control I love it at times, but when darkness control my fate, I fear where we go.

My DREAMS: Flavorful, Dreadful, Vivid, Yet Not Recalled

ACT I

I dream vivid, vibrant and often lucid dreams, where I can slightly alter them. Usually when I just can't get up because of laziness, depression, or needing the wanderlust of the changing story, and awareness I hold reins to a dream altering capability to steer the dream to a wanted/specific end/conclusion. So in and out of semi-cognasient awake/sleep state over and over. Purposely Dozing I would say. Move the dream along a little farther until the external stymuli tries to bring me back to the waking world. I will then fight to lose myself again. Repeat and rinse, until the the fluxuating dream takes me too far off the path to want to attempt to change/steer again. Everytime you go back to drive the story, it changes a little or lot and makes it more difficult to achieve your goal. Something in the dream realm alters whether small or large or for good or bad. You, your role, the cast, the era, period, the place, atmospere, feeling, mood, sence of well-being.

More to come on my few remembered dreams and some dream theory. A childhood episode. Shades, the dread they left on my psyche. My son's night terrors still tormenting at 17 yrs old and the odd actions the nightmare cause his sleep-state to perform.