Obsessions, Enthrallments, and Fixations, Oh My

I always knew I was different, I just didn’t quite know why. I guess everyone kinda feels that way in a sense. I always have had obsessions. Not stalker shit or anything like that. I mean that I would get an insatiable need for knowledge. I craved something; like how one gets a craving for a kind of food, but you just can't put your finger on it. My wife calls them fads or phases. I will find something that interests me and I will live that thing until I run out of knowledge on the subject or at least the info slows down to a trickle or I find a new obsession. The internet really helps for this; everything is on there. I literally eat, breathe, and sleep that subject. Then all of a sudden I'm done. I put it all in a box and often I never look at it again unless I’m in a nostalgic mood. I got into comics, magic the gathering, D&D, canning, taxidermy, deer hunting, trapping, painting, modeling, miniatures, crafting, gardening, drawing, sculpting, writing, etc. Reading, music, moves, video games, and online poker are in a category all there own, with many subjects, types, and subsets. But just like every thing else, it is hard for me to stay focused on any one thing until the end. I dive right in but usually barely ever finish anything. I haven’t finished a video game in years. I haven’t finished a novel either. I get a CD and play it for a month straight. Poker is quite addictive for me, but I do lose interest every couple of months. Yet with Reading, music, movies, video games, and poker, I always got back for more. Sometimes not exactly where I left off. I have 4 unfinished books beside my bathtub. One I picked back up and just started rereading. Video games I usually just pass on to my son. I once got obsessed with serial killers. For over a month I was printing out reports, reading about them and different cases. I did this until my wife and the guys at work started telling me that is was a little too much. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t really fantasizing about being one, just reading about them. Trying to figure out why they are broken. This is more than the normal hobby I’m talking about here. I’m talking about being totally engrossed in these fads. Often I can’t sleep or think about anything else. I will lose focus and find myself virtually catatonic with the rest of the world in some ways. People often think me aloof, distant, and arrogant because I zone off thinking about my current fixation. Another thing that I do is analyze conversions, events, and situations to the point of anal enthrallment. Anal enthrallment didn't quite sound right. This is something that I do often pertaining to work issues. I run scenarios over and over in my mind. I have to take pills to sleep because of these nightly mini-obsessions. I think most of these things happen when I’m manic.

I will go further into most of these subjects in greater detail as we go on. That’s all for now.